Communication With Adolescent Child

Adolescence is perhaps the most critical phasein once life. The experiences, adjustments and compromises one has to make during this time can leave a life long impact on the child's life. It shall not be right to impose your own expectations on the child during this time and unnecessarily burden him.

It is a time of contradictions. Your adolescent child might at one time crib about being neglected and at others create a fuss about your over indulgence in his life. Contradictions happen at parent's end also at this age of their children. Sometimes they would ask them to behave like a responsible grown up and at others tell them to be out of certain things as they are not meant for kids. Due to being worried for their child's security also they might just resist his independence.

Generation gap is another reason for a communication gap between parents and adolescent children. It is not true that the difference of choices between parents and children would always be taken as a thing to rebel about by the kids. However, they would certainly see it as a change in tastes and time and would perceive their parents' choices as outdated. This may also include their values and morals. The only way out is to communicate with them effectively.


You can try the following to smoothen your communication with your adolescent child.

• Effective communication happens when both the people understand each other's point of view. Parents should be able to communicate their fears and concerns to their children and in turn try and understand their needs also.


• From parents' side their concerns should be communicated not as a compulsion but as an expectation which if the child would understand and choose to follow, would make the parent happy.


• If you are not satisfied with your child's company then try and talk to him about the harm that it is causing to him. Do not humiliate him by calling him a weak person or somebody who easily gets influenced by others.


• Try not to land up into unnecessary arguments. If a discussion is going no where and is turning into a heated debate, cut it then and there. You might want to start it later when it has cooled down and there is an appropriate cue.


• Do not always give in to your child's demands. Sometimes is good but do set limits and never cross them yourself. Make your expectations clear to your child and let him know what you would never agree to.


• Entrust in your child by showing confidence in him but make it clear that you are as much a parent to him as a friend.

Good communication, assertiveness and right dosage of friendliness would soon take care of most of the problems that you're facing with your adolescent child and you will have a smooth fun relationship to cherish!