Helping Children Cope With Grief

The loss of a dear one is one our most dreaded fears. However, we as adults are aware of death as a fact of life and therefore are mentally prepared to cope up with it. Children though, are usually ignored in such a matter thinking that they are too young to understand anything. This is far from the truth.

Even if there is a death in the family, the children of the house are kept away from the whole thing and it is not discussed with them as if it is either a taboo for them or they are not old enough to understand or feel anything.

The truth is however that the children do understand a loss and are affected by it also. They do not forget the whole experience easily and most of the time it remains as a big question mark in their minds till the time they face it again after growing up.

The correct way to deal with such a situation is to talk to your child about it. After they have learnt the fact that their has been a loss of a dear one you can make them comfortable by normally talking to them about the good memories of the departed one.

Amidst your own grief you should not forget the child and must offer him all your love and support even if he does not seem to be reacting. Let your child return to his normal life as soon as possible and give him more avenues to keep his mind busy. Involve him in any sort of creative work or a game that he enjoys.

If there is a loss of a sibling or someone close who is of the same age group as your child, give extra reassurance to him. It could be possible that your child is feeling guilty due to the loss, explain to him that even though he could do nothing to prevent it is perfectly normal to feel so and he would get over it soon.

Sometimes, the death of a classmate is often a child's first such experience. He might just not be sad by it but also could get afraid of it. Along with yourself, your child's teacher also has a major role to play in such a situation. You could talk to your child about his classmate while the teacher could ask them to write or draw about him. She could also guide them on deciding how do they want to deal with their classmate's seat so that it does not remain a thing to be avoided for them.

Even in case of a loss of a family member your child could be behaving awkwardly at school. The teacher can again come for rescue at such a time. Your first duty is to inform her about it and she in turn could understand by giving your child time and space to adjust and cope up. She could also let the other children know about your child's loss and ask them to be especially nice and helpful to him.

So be sensitive to your child's sensitivities. Make him feel safe and secured, and give him the leeway to be able to talk to you. If you teach your child to handle loss in a mature way, that's what he'll learn rather than learning just to escape it.